Aide pour corriger mes erreurs en anglais!!!

hamnessa

New Member
Bonjour, je suis en Bts AGTL par le cned et je viens de finir un devoir en anglais seulement le problème c'est qu'a mon 1er devoir j'ai eu 8/20 et j'aimerai pouvoir rattraper cette note. Donc j'aurais voulu savoir si vous pouviez corriger mes erreurs sur le devoir que je dois en plus envoyer par oral...

Voilà donc je vous explique je devais faire un itinéraire de 15 jours sur le canada occidental avec au début une introduction sur la colombie britannique et Alberta.


Western Canada is a very rich place by its culture, its fauna and flora but also on the level of the sports activities. Thus British Columbia is known for its mountainous landscapes and of spectacular fjords, which constitute adventures in the open air and ecotourism. The province of Alberta, as for it, account of tens of rivers and ideal lakes with the majestic peaks of Rock and the vast meadows beaten by the wind, with animated cities, with the colors western, Alberta combines to charm great spaces and urban refinement.

1st day: France/Vancouver
Departure of France and take-off bound for Vancouver. This city of the Canadian Western coast is identified for its beauty. Vancouver will be able to attract you by his superb site between the fjord of Burrard and the delta of the river of Fraser. A city where nature is very present.
With your arrival, reception and transfer to the hotel . To dine free and harms.

2nd day: Vancouver
Panoramic Turn of Vancouver: Stanley Park and its totems which is the third larger park urban of North America; Wreck Beach which is the most known of public beaches. Then visit Vancouver Aquarium where one presents to it not only of Poisson, but also of other species of aquatic animals, such as the SEA OTTER, SEALS, SEA LIONS, DOLPHINS and WHALES. To lunch in the Chinese quarter.
Step onboard the famous Grouse Mountain Skyride. High above towering Douglas fir, breathtaking views of the city of Vancouver, sparkling Pacific Ocean, Gulf Islands, and snowy peaks unfold as you journey up the mountainside. North America's largest aerial tramway is your gateway to the majestic nature of the Peak of Vancouver, and an experience in itself. Dinner and night.

3rd day: Vancouver/Whistler
Departure the morning by the road "Sea to Sky" which takes you along starting from Vancouver to Whistler. This city will accomodate the Winter Olympics of 2010.
An excursion in the telpher carrier at the top of the Whistler mountain for a panoramic sight on the valley. Open the eyes during these 20 minutes of increase because the black bears are often right under your feet. It is the occasion to make a spade screws at the edge of one of the many lakes of mountains of the area. Then activities with the range of all: excursion in the forest or with the feet of the glaciers, hiring of canoe to descend "the river from the golden dreams", hiring of VTT, excursion with horse, course of golf or part of tennis, overflight in the seaplane or helicopter. there is for all the desires! Harms in centre town.

4th day: Whistler/Banff
Departure the morning by rail transport to arrive at Banff. Free visit if the heart you of known as before dinner and to sleep in a hotel of the centre town.

5th day: Banff
Panoramic turn of Banff avenue, the falls of the river Bow, the lake Minnewanka, the Cascade mount and chimneys of fairies. After the meal meetting in bike to Banff National Park located in a whole of valleys, mountains, forests, meadows and rivers. Banff National Park is one of the most required destinations in the world. The most known landscape is the Lake Louise. The park is prolonged in north by Jasper National Park. Return to the hotel for dinner and to sleep

6th day: Banff/Jasper
Departure of Banff in the morning to arrive at Jasper National Park which is largest of the Canadian national parks. It shelters the large glaciers of Columbia Icefield, of the hot sources (in particular:The Miette Hot Springs), of the lakes, the falls. The most known landscape is the Maligne Lake. Then a bus with caterpillars will take you along on the Athabasca glacier. Dinner and night of centre town,

7th day: Jasper/Prince George
Departure the morning for Prince George by rail transport. To Prince George, the "capital of north" you will make pedestrian excursions in order to appreciate the Heritage River Trail System which is a splendid marked out path of 11 km, along the River Fraser and Nechako river.

8th day: Prince George/Skeena/Prince Rupert.
On the basis of Prince George, you will be able to see the Skeena river before arriving to Prince Rupert. Dinner and night of centre town.

9th day: Prince Rupert/Port Hardy
The morning will be devoted to the visit of the splendid Museum of Northern British Columbia who is located in Long an House, an indigenous traditional house. He tells the culture of the First Nation, nature, the draft of the furs and industrialization. Then destination with Port Hardy by the ferry. At the time of a cruising starting from Prince Rupert, in the Hecate strait, you will have the occasion to observe orcs, humpback whales, whales gray, porpoises and dolphins.

10th day: Port Hardy/Telegraph Cove/Campbell River
Arrived at Telegraph cove, various activities will be put at your diposition: you will be able to observe the orcs, to fish, make kayak or deep-sea diving. Then at the end of the day departure by the road to Campbell River

11th day: Campbell River/Pacific Rim national park.
With Campbell River you will fish salmon because this city is a center of fishing to salmons of international reputation. Then at the beginning of after midday, you will leave for Pacific Rim National park.

12th day: Pacific Rim National park/Victoria
Visits park as of the morning. The Pacific Rim Park is composed of wild forests, water and beaches. One meets there giant trees, several times centenaries, the such Douglas. There is also Long Beach which is a splendid sandy beach as well as the path of the Coast-West. This wild strip of land shelters a beautiful course of 75 km, arranged between the littoral and a coastal rain forest. With the end of this marvellous visit, resumption of the road to move towards Victoria. Dinner and night in the capital of the Vancouver Island.

13th day: Victoria
Time to discover the city with Chinatown which is the Chinese old working of Canada. But also the Parliament Buildings. Then after lunched the visit of Royal British Colombia Museum of Victoria offers to you a beautiful collection of Amerindian art, most complete of the province as well as an exposure on the life of the pioneers with reconstitution of the buildings of time. A very beautiful museum. Finally beside Royal British Columbia Museum, a small park exposes in the open air some masts totemic of any beauty.

14th day: Victoria/Vancouver/France
morning Departure for a cruising in zodiac in the strait of Juan de Fuco to go to observe the orcs. Your guide will explain you the way of life of these mammals resident which elected residence in this lenient water. Otaries, seals and dolphins are also often observed during this excursion. Then return in ferry towards Vancouver. And it time to set out again, direction the airport of Vancouver. To dine and harms on board.

15th day: France
Breakfast on board . Arrival in the morning in France.


Merci beaucoup. :wub :wub :wub
 

hamnessa

New Member
Et ben y'a personne pour m'aider à corriger mes erreurs????
J'ai peut être tout juste :blink: mais ça ça m'étonnerais... :closedeyes:
Allez un petit coup de pouce SVP!! :arrow2:
 

Wizard

New Member
Je vais regarder Hammessa. J'ai commencé, c'est pas mal ce que tu as écrit : tu es étudiante donc tu es censée faire quelques erreurs, non ? :wink2:
 

hamnessa

New Member
Merci Wizard car personne ne vient à mon secour!!!
Je sais que je dois faire des erreurs mais je voudrais remonter ma note que j'ai eu à mon 1er devoir....
Merci de m'aider, c'est très gentil... :wub :wub :wub
 

Wizard

New Member
OK, de tute façon à mon avis tu aurais une bonne note avec ce que tu as fit. Je retourne à mes copies.....sigh....
 

hamnessa

New Member
Toujours pas d'amateurs??? C'est peut être la longueur qui vous fait peur... :arrow2:
Bon s'il y apersonne je ne vais pas attendre 1000 ans et je verrai bien ce que ça donne! :knuppel:
 

Wizard

New Member
Ecoute, Hammessa, tu es bien impatiente. :knuppel: Ton travail fait 2 pages de long, et on a peut-être du travail de notre côté.
Ceci dit, je t'ai relue, je t'envoie quelques corrections.
 

Wizard

New Member
hamnessa link=topic=17351.msg156377#msg156377 date=1141205971 a dit:
Western Canada is a very rich place by for its culture, its fauna and  flora but also on the level of the sports activities. Thus British Columbia  is known for its mountainous landscapes and of spectacular fjords, which constitute adventures in the open air and ecotourism. The province of Alberta, as for it, account of counts tens of rivers and ideal lakes with the majestic peaks of Rock and the vast meadows beaten by the wind, with animated cities. With the colors western, western colors Alberta combines to charm great spaces and urban refinement to charm its visitors.

1st day: France/Vancouver
Departure of from France and take-off bound for Vancouver. This city of the Canadian Western coast is identified for its beauty. Vancouver will be able to attract you by his superb site between the fjord of Burrard and the delta of the river of Fraser. A city where nature is very present.
With your arrival, reception and transfer to the hotel . To dine free and harms (pas compris)

2nd day: Vancouver
Panoramic Turn of Vancouver: Stanley Park and its totems which . It is the third larger park urban third largest urban park of North America; Wreck Beach which is the most known of public beaches. Then visit Vancouver Aquarium where one presents to it with the presence not only of Poisson[/s fish (?)], but also of other species of aquatic animals, such as the SEA OTTER, SEALS, SEA LIONS, DOLPHINS and WHALES. To lunch in the Chinese quarter district.
Step onboard the famous Grouse Mountain Skyride. High above towering Douglas fir, breathtaking views of the city of Vancouver, sparkling Pacific Ocean, Gulf Islands, and snowy peaks unfold as you journey up the mountainside. North America's largest aerial tramway is your gateway to the majestic nature of the Peak of Vancouver, and an experience in itself. Dinner and night.

3rd day: Vancouver/Whistler
Departure the morning by the road "Sea to Sky" which takes you along starting from Vancouver to Whistler.  This city will accomodate the Winter Olympics of in 2010.
An excursion in the telpher carrier quarry (?) at the top of the Whistler mountain for a panoramic sight on the valley. Open the eyes Stay watchfulduring these 20 minutes of increase because the black bears are often right under your feet. It is the occasion to make a spade screws at the edge of one of the many lakes of mountains of the area. Then activities with the range of all a full range of activities: excursion in the forest or with to the feet of the glaciers, hiring of canoes to descend "the river from the golden dreams", hiring of VTT, excursion withon horse, course of golf or part of tennisgame of golf or tennis, overflight in the seaplane or helicopter. there is for all the desires there is plenty to do for all tastesHarms in centre town.the town centre.

4th day: Whistler/Banff
Departure the morning by rail transport to arrive atin Banff. Free visit if you wish so as before dinner and to sleep night in a hotel of the centre towntown center.

5th day: Banff
Panoramic turn walk/visit of on Banff avenue, the falls of the river Bow, the lake Minnewanka, the Cascade mount and chimneys of fairies. After the meal meetting in bike (?) bike ride (?) to Banff National Park located in a wholeset of valleys, mountains, forests, meadows and rivers. Banff National Park  is one of the most required destinations in the world. The most known landscape  is the Lake Louise. The park is prolonged in northto the north by Jasper National Park. Return to the hotel for dinner and to sleep

6th day: Banff/Jasper
Departure offrom Banff in the morning to arrive at Jasper National Park, which is the largest of the Canadian national parks. It shelters the large glaciers of  Columbia Icefield, of the hot sources springs (in particular:The Miette Hot Springs), of the lakes, the falls. The most known landscape is the Maligne Lake. Then a bus with caterpillars will take you along on the Athabasca glacier. Dinner and night of centre town, in the town centre.
7th day: Jasper/Prince George
Departure in the morning for Prince George by rail transport. To In Prince George, the "capital of the north" you will make pedestrian excursions in order to appreciate the Heritage River Trail System which is a splendid marked out path of 11 km, along the River Fraser and Nechako river.

8th day: Prince George/Skeena/Prince Rupert.
On the basis of(??) Prince George, you will be able to see the Skeena river before arriving to Prince Rupert. Dinner and night of centre town.(voir plus haut)

9th day: Prince Rupert/Port Hardy
The morning will be devoted to the visit of the splendid Museum of Northern British Columbia who is located in Long an House,(?) an indigenous traditional house. He tells It tells about the culture of the First Nation,  nature, the draft (craft ?)of the furs and industrialization. Then destination with to Port Hardy by  the ferry. At the time of a cruising starting from Prince Rupert, in the Hecate strait, you will have the occasion to observe orcs, humpback whales, whales gray gray whales, porpoises and dolphins.

10th day: Port Hardy/Telegraph Cove/Campbell River
Arrived at Once in Telegraph cove,  various activities will be put at your diposition: you will be able to observe the orcs, to fish, make kayak or deep-sea diving. Then at the end of the day departure by the road to Campbell River

11th day: Campbell River/Pacific Rim national park.
With Campbell River you will fish salmon because this city is a center of fishing to salmons of international reputation. Then at the beginning of after midday, you will leave for Pacific Rim National park.

12th day: Pacific Rim National park/Victoria
Visit of the park as of early in the morning. The Pacific Rim Park is composed ofconsists in wild forests, water and beaches. One meets there (début de phrase) giant several-hundred -year old trees, several times centenaries, the such such as Douglas. There is also Long Beach which is a splendid sandy beach as well as the path of the Coast-WestWest Coast. This wild strip of land shelters a beautiful course of 75 km, arranged between the littoral and a coastal rain forest. With the end of this marvellous visit, resumption of back to the road to move towards Victoria. Dinner and night in the capital of the Vancouver Island.

13th day: Victoria
Time to discover the city with Chinatown which is the Chinese old working (???)of Canada, but also the Parliament Buildings. Then after lunch the visit of Royal British Colombia Museum of Victoria offers to you a beautiful collection of Amerindian art,the most complete of the province as well as an exposure exhibition on the life of the pioneers with a reconstitution of the buildings of the time. A very beautiful museum. Finally beside Royal British Columbia Museum, a small park exposes in the open air (fin de phrase) some masts totemic(avant le nom) of anygreat beauty.

14th day: Victoria/Vancouver/France
In the morning Departure for a cruising in zodiac by Zodiac in the straits of Juan de Fuco to go to and observe the orcs. Your guide will explain to you the way of life of these mammals residents which elected residence in this these lenient waters. Otaries, seals and dolphins are also often observed during this excursion. Then return inby ferry towards Vancouver. And it is time to set out again, direction the airport of Vancouver. To dine and harms on board.(voir plus haut)
15th day: France
Breakfast on board . Arrival in the morning in France.


Voici mes corrections, vite fait... mais, à mon humble avis, il serait malhonnête d'envoyer cela à la correction :knuppel:
 

hamnessa

New Member
Ok, je te remercie mais ne t'inquiète pas je ne vais pas envoyer un devoir parfait!!!! Merci beaucoup pour ton aide. :biggrin:
 

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