correction lettre motivation

[nina84]

Bonjour,

est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait m'aider à corriger ma lettre de motivation. Ca serait vraiment très gentil!

Merci d'avance!

Dear Sir or Madam,

After having get my first year of the master “Applied Modern Languages”, “mention” worldwide project negotiation, “option” English and German, I would like to deepen my study in your university by enter into your master of “worldwide trade negotiation”.

My formation and my work experiences incite me to go further in the learning of knowledge concerning the theme of international trade. I already made some placements abroad as I wanted to discover how it worked in foreign countries. It was such rewarding to go in Germany and in England. I could learn a lot there and I could improve my level in English and German too. I love discover new cultures, that is why I spent five months in the Netherlands as an Erasmus student. I wanted to know how Dutch people lived. The classes I attend in the university of The Hague offered me new knowledge and I am sure that if you accept me in your formation I will learn a lot.

Integrate your master is for me a major opportunity to develop my knowledge in marketing, negotiation, management and economic sciences. I am highly motivated to learn new things about international trade negotiation. I am impatient to attend your classes and to get knowledge which will be useful in my future. Indeed I intend to work in an international organization as I can help to develop exchanges between France and other countries. I know that the classes which you offer can bring me key knowledge to succeed in my work project.


Yours Faithfully,

 

[kathounette]

Salut,

Si tu peux mettre au moins une ebauche de ta lettre de motivation en francais ce serait bien parce que certaines choses ne me semblent pas tres claires.
J'essaie de t'envoyer une correction assez vite.

ps: Je suis desolee pour les accents mais j'ai un clavier qwerty :wink2:

 

[Wizard]

Bonjour,

est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait m'aider à corriger ma lettre de motivation. Ca serait vraiment très gentil!

Merci d'avance!

Dear Sir or Madam,

After having get completed my first year of the master “Applied Modern Languages”, “mention” worldwide project negotiation, “option” English and German, I would like to deepen my study in at your university by enter enteringinto your

master of “worldwide trade negotiation”.

better not to put "of" : your worlwide trade negotation master

My formation and my work experiences (no plural) incite me to go further in the learning of knowledge concerning the theme of (un peu lourd...)international trade. I havealready made some placements abroad as I wanted to discover how it worked in foreign countries. It was such so rewarding to go in to Germany and in England. I could learn a lot there and I could improve my level in English and German too. I love discovering new cultures, that is why I spent five months in the Netherlands as an Erasmus student. I wanted to know how Dutch people lived. The classes I attended in at the university of The Hague offered me new knowledge and I am sure that if you accept me in your formation I will learn a lot.

Integrating your master is for me a major opportunity to develop my knowledge in marketing, negotiation, management and economic sciences. I am highly motivated to learn new things about international trade negotiation. I am impatient to attend your classes and to get knowledge which will be useful in my future. Indeed I intend to work in an international organization as I can help to develop exchanges between France and other countries. I know that the classes which you offer can bring me key knowledge to succeed in my work project.


Yours Faithfully,

C'est une correction rapide, j'espère que cela aidera. Le niveau général est tout de même bon!!! :aplause: